Today, I did an activity with my second graders to review the literary concept of cause and effect. They were presented with “if” statements (causes) and “then” statements (effects). They had to match up the effect scenarios with the causes that made the most sense, and then were given three causes and had to come up with their own ideas for what effects would result. For example, “If Michael rides the rollercoaster, he will get dizzy!” The kids seemed enthused by this activity, but it also was all presented in hypothetical terms. Tomorrow, they’ll revisit the concept again and think of examples from their own lives about the effects that they have seen from various causes. Self-reflection is often less lighthearted than samples on a worksheet. My students happen to be pretty self-reflective kids anyway, which is something I’ve helped them manage and hone over the course of the school year; they value this trait and take it seriously, more so than many adults I’ve known over the years. Managing and understanding the impact we have on each other and the world around us is an integral part of the character of our class.

Teaching about cause and effect today got me thinking about the dynamic between internal and external accountability. There are two types of personalities for appropriating success, as well as two types for appropriating failure:

Type A – my success is due to my own merit and skill.

Type B – my success is due to other factors that have nothing to do with me, like good luck, fate, relying on other people’s help, or due to others’ misfortune.

Type C – my failure is due to my own shortcomings.

Type D – my failure is due to other factors that have nothing to do with me, like bad luck, fate, not having anyone else’s help, or due to others being better off than I am.

Each person has a schema for success, and a schema for failure, that generally fit into one each of the two personality types above. Before you consider which ones you align with and whether that’s good or bad (am I too late?) – don’t worry, are flaws across the board! Some people exclusively attribute succeed and failure internally – they live and die by their own swords (TypeA/TypeC). For others, it’s the opposite, where no matter what happens, they presume to have no control over it (TypeB/TypeD). For still others, it’s a mix of internal and external approaches, where success can be self-produced and failure the effect of external causes (TypeA/TypeD), or vice versa (TypeB/TypeC).

I’ve always been someone who’s a TypeB/TypeC combo. My failures are always one hundred percent my own fault, and I routinely flagellate myself for them. My successes, meanwhile, couldn’t possibly be a result of anything good about myself, because there hasn’t ever been anything good in there to glean success from, not all on my own (don’t worry about me, I’m hyperbolizing here to represent what my mentality once was…well, mostly). Accountability gets really skewed when you’re made to bear the weight of the world on your shoulders from such a young age, and simultaneously taught that your self-worth is minimal in the grand scheme of things. I still struggle with this imbalance, a lot sometimes; I’ve been retraining my brain for years. One thing I’ve learned over time is that an exclusive commitment to any pair of these schemata is unhealthy.

Teaching cause and effect in such simple terms – “if you hit your classmate’s brother in the head with a snowball at recess, you will get in trouble!” – is fine when you’re helping second graders master a concept, and trying to guide them to be kind and thoughtful little people. But the grander truth is, all successes and all failures – all effects – are due to a tightly intertwined network of internal and external causes. If something goes right in your life, be sure to thank those who helped it happen – but don’t sell yourself short either. Embrace your success, own it! Conversely, if something goes wrong in your life, take proper responsibility where appropriate – but don’t take it on exclusively, if and when there are other things (or people) at fault, and don’t beat yourself to death over it.

Cause and effect. If I write – people will read. And that’s cool. (Even if “people” is just me sometimes!)