Someday, when tales may be told of my life, I’d like the infernally overlong story to be named after me.

An epic saga it is already, and I’m only thirty-three.

Odysseus battled the sea and monsters therein for years and years, just trying to get home.

Who knew his journey would become his namesake, regaled as an eponym for all time?

Will the same legacy emerge for mine?

The difference is that in ancient Greece, men aspired to feature prominently in songs and stories.

Legendary tales detailing all their trials and tribulations, triumphs and glories.

That was their endgame.

For me it’s not the same.

I do not seek fame.

I seek only peace.

When you hear the phrase “epic journey”,

Odysseus promptly comes to mind.

As for me,

My battles with sirens and cyclops,

I’d rather just leave behind.

~

An important thing to consider about Odysseus – he’s heralded as a hero in most circles, right? Part of the illustrious Greek army who prevailed in the Trojan War, friend to Achilles, conqueror of all those monsters he battled across the seas, (supposedly?) faithful husband just trying to get home to his wife Penelope after the war was over. Well, history is written by the winners. Odysseus may have been hailed as an ideal champion and crystallized into legend by time and literary rendering (thanks Homer!), but I suspect that all those Trojans who were either slain or left behind to pick up the tattered remains of their land and people, not to mention the monsters he fought across the sea, would beg to differ, if they could.

Similarly – I have not been meandering along my own epic journey without leaving a little collateral damage in my wake. In battling monsters in order to find safe harbor, I have hurt people I care about. People will read my writing, or talk with me about my experiences, and praise me like I’m some kind of hero for speaking out (which I’m not, and I don’t think I’ll ever get used to that idea – I’d like to think Odysseus never let that go to his head either, but it’s tough to say, Ancient Greek male fortitude always seemed pretty potent to me). Honestly, I don’t like that kind of mantle because, if finding and sharing my truth is heroic to some, there’s the undeniable flip side of that coin, where to others, I’ve become the villain. It’s inevitable. If you were to go up to Odysseus and inquire if he was a hero, the optimistic side of me feels like he would say, it depended on who you asked. Odysseus was quite the protagonist for the Greeks, and a hell of an antagonist to Troy (not to mention that poor one-eyed monster who believed it when Odysseus told him that his name was Nobody).

Maybe that’s the hallmark difference between Odysseus and I. He told the cyclops that he was Nobody as a trick so he could escape; I actually feel that being Nobody would be easier, a lot of the time. He was only looking to outsmart and defeat monsters, and while I seek the same thing, I harbor an unquenchable sympathy for them too. Maybe it’s because, unlike Odysseus, I was borne of them.

~

(P.S. If you are not a total nerd like me and you’re unfamiliar with Greek mythology and epics, and any of my references here have peaked your interest, I highly recommend you check out Homer’s work, The Iliad and Odyssey. There are a number of good translations, summaries, and iterations out there, along with so many other wonderful classic Greek plays and stories. If you are a nerd like me, and you enjoy retellings and alternative versions of these classic tales, I highly recommend Madeline Miller’s works as a good place to start. Her novel The Song of Achilles skyrocketed to a spot in the top ten of my all-time favorite books when I read it earlier this year, and Circe also was excellent – and features Odysseus prominently. I’ve provided links to the pages about those respective books from Miller’s own website. It’s a pretty popular subgenre, myth retellings, so ask your local booksellers what they might recommend!)

(P.P.S. Disclaimer: I do not make any money from recommending any books, movies, songs, or other media here, and the opinions/interpretations presented about them are solely my own. I just like to share good stuff!)