(*No frogs were harmed in the writing of this blog post.*)

In my most recent therapy session, I was lamenting to my therapist the list of chores I needed to complete by the end of this week. I was focusing on the minutiae to deflect from thinking about tougher, darker things for at least a little while, and I acknowledged that. It’s just that sometimes when you’re bogged down by a lot, it’s easier to dwell more — and then get more overwhelmed by — the smaller stuff.

Sometimes, it’s a choice between whining about the little things or being swallowed up by the bigger things.

My bigger things are so big that sometimes I worry I’ll get swallowed up and never find my way back again. So it’s to the little things I often direct my focus instead, at least day to day.

I think my therapist also knew I’d get around to giving the bigger stuff airtime eventually, so she let me fret for a bit about how much I am dreading cleaning the shower, because with between short arms and chronic pain it can be a really gargantuan task for me. She then offered me the gist of a quote from Mark Twain which she couldn’t precisely remember. Literary nut that I am, I looked it up later, and here it is:

“If it’s your job to eat a frog, it’s best to do it first thing in the morning. And if it’s your job to eat two frogs, it’s best to eat the biggest one first.”

In other words, when we are facing unavoidable tasks which we find unpleasant or challenging, it’s best to tackle them first. Get the hardest or worst thing out of the way first, then move on to the next step. Once you’ve gotten the big thing out of the way, other things will seem more doable.

Ironically, this is quite the opposite approach to how I’ve navigated therapy and healing. However, with feeling very beaten up lately by my trauma recovery, a lot of pain surfacing (or resurfacing), my perpetually long to-do list has taken on a deeper tinge of difficulty. Seemingly simple tasks can often seem hard, and recently they’ve at times felt even harder. Of course, the trap-door of depression is that you feel bad about not getting things done, but you can’t bring yourself to get them done either, so then you feel even worse because they’re still not done…and so on. I am trying not to fall down that trap-door.

I am a consummate list-maker. I make lists very often, and if there’s something that isn’t on my list that I do, I need to add it to the list just for the satisfaction of crossing it off! Maybe it feeds into the illusion of productivity, who knows. But, if it helps, it helps! I’ve taken on a new thought with this list-keeping habit of mine though. If I can identify items on the list that I feel will be the hardest to complete, I know I should try to prioritize them. Maybe I’ll even get some cute little frog stickers to help encourage myself!

My motto for some time has been, have your feelings, then do your job. I allow myself that time to vent, before calling my own bluff. Working through frustration and weariness and even dread about unpleasant tasks is an important part of the process. Whine a little bit. Have your feelings.

Then eat the frog.