Narcissists don’t change.

People who’ve gotten sucked into a narcissist’s manipulative picture of reality tend to think they can help guide the narcissist to play better with others. They think that with support and coaching, the narcissist can grow into a more successful and compassionate leader, a team player who doesn’t always need to win.

But narcissists don’t change.

It is easy to get persuaded by the narcissist’s promises to improve. They know what to say in order to get their way. They know how to even make small concessions in order to give the appearance of growth and collaboration, before reverting back to their usual tactics once the coast is clear for them.

Narcissists don’t change.

Narcissism is a personality disorder, from which the narcissist so rarely recovers, because in order to do so, they would need to take responsibility for their actions and the impact they have. Narcissists see themselves as either victims or victors, but never the actual problem.

Survivors of narcissistic abuse dread confronting the attacker, because it’s akin to yelling at a black hole. Any attempts at justice get irretrievably vacuumed up and lost forever, while the gaslighting will only put your own mental health at risk of collapse. Just the idea of confronting the attacker turns me into a sobbing mess, and I can’t help feeling mistrustful of people who naively feel confident that they can help the narcissist get on track. There is no resolution with a narcissist that satisfies anyone else before it satisfies themselves. There is no compromise. There is no apology. There is no moving forward.

Because NARCISSISTS DON’T CHANGE.