Over the last several weeks I’ve tried to express how much busier than usual life has seemed, but truthfully, the biggest personal sign of all that this is so is the fact that it’s been about a month since I’ve last written a blog post.

Whoopsies!

From back to back to back sickness — literally, ear infection, flu, sinus infection, strep throat — to finally buckling down to get the background scenery painted for the set design for our school musical (20 feet of canvas cut into four five-foot-tall panels equals lots of physically demanding painting of surfaces bigger than me!), my body has been wondering what the hell is going on lately. But, I think the arthritis medications are helping, finally. They do compromise the immune system, which sucks, but when I’m not ill, I’m more functional more often than before starting the meds. So, I’ve got that going for me!

Recently, I led an art project with my elementary students that was inspired by Freddie Mercury. For those who don’t know, in addition to being the iconic and incredibly talented lead singer of Queen, before his untimely death in 1991, he was also a great visual artist with a degree in graphic design. He drew the crest logo you see on much of Queen’s merchandise, as well as the cover art for several of the band’s albums. For the project, each class got to design their own cover art inspired by different Queen songs. The goal was to show them how you can have skill and talent in more than one thing, and being good at something doesn’t define you or mean that’s the thing you have to be known for or do for your entire life.

Around that same time, I took that inspiration and applied it to my own life. Last month I attended a writers’ workshop to learn more about the craft of memoir writing. There were three genres to choose from for this workshop and I went with memoir because I think I’ve danced around writing one for ages but never really known how to get going on it. Anyway, it was a great experience and reminded me that, as much as I love art and being entrenched in art, it doesn’t have to be the only thing I do. There are other parts of me that I love and have passion for, other parts that deserve time and attention.

The more I let that idea take hold, the more those various parts started popping up and making themselves known. It may sound cutesy and trite to talk about feeding your soul, especially when the world is literally on fire, but maybe that’s precisely why it’s so necessary. I can’t stop war. But I can try to increase joy and love and peace in my tiny little corner of the universe — and doing so doesn’t begin with offering more of myself to other people. It begins with internal work, with offering more of myself to myself.

It’s such a foreign concept for me, having been raised to give all to others and disregard myself entirely. But, I think I’m starting to see that path in front of me. It’s dim, but I’m working on lighting my lantern so that I can find my way. Stay tuned!