I had a very interesting experience as an artist today. It was almost surreal, really.

About a month or so ago, I got a request to repurpose a hanukiah (it’s the candleholder we use for celebrating Hanukkah, most people know them as menorahs— but, menorahs have seven branches while a hanukiah has nine). I was given a dull metal hanukiah, brass maybe, that sort of looked like it was made out of fused railway nails, and advised to make it “artsy” with help from some of my students. This repurposed hanukiah would be included in an annual exhibit that our local art museum puts on, called the Festival of Trees and Light.

So, I took this hanukiah, and with a little help from my fourth graders who took turns with my hair dryer, I melted white and blue crayons all over it as artfully as I could. I put tiny stubs of the crayons into the candleholder spaces, and strategically sprinkled just a tiny bit of gold glitter on it all while the crayon wax was still wet. The intended effect was to mimic melted Hanukkah candles. On the taller section of the shamash, the helper candle which we use to light the others, I adhered a sizable white dove which I fashioned out of oven bake clay. In the mouth of the dove is a very delicate olive branch, shaped like a Hebrew letter called a shin, for shalom, or peace. Once finished, the fourth grade class and I debated what to call this piece, and came to a consensus that it should be called Or shel Shalom, or Light of Peace.

Once it was done, I brought it to the office for somebody to pick up, and then honestly I forgot about it for a little while in the thick of everything else that was going on. It wasn’t until earlier this week, when a colleague emailed me that they’d seen it on display and for sale, that I remembered about this piece at all and suddenly realized the implications:

1) My artwork was on display in an art museum gallery!

2) My artwork was up for sale in an art museum gallery!

3) …my artwork was up for sale in an art museum gallery???

Somehow, the fact that this piece was going into a collection that would be available for purchase had totally escaped me. I am thrilled about points one and two, but, had I realized it was going to be sold…well, I don’t know. I can’t say for sure if I would have done anything differently, but somehow feeling like I had learned about this for the first time made me really uncomfortable. It’s not like I haven’t sold my work before, but I was more aware and involved in those processes. When I told my students about the fact that it would be sold, they were surprised and disappointed. They felt strongly that it ought to belong to the school. It was a difficult lesson to teach them, that sometimes once a piece of art leaves the artist’s hands, we cannot control what happens to it or how it’s interpreted. Still, their voices echoed in my head about it.

So, this morning, I drove to the museum and paid $8 for parking. I paid $14 for the museum admission fee. I spent a half hour perusing the galleries looking for the tiny table that my hanukiah was sitting on, next to one other repurposed hanukiah that another local Jewish group had created. Finally I found that tiny table. Seeing Or shel Shalom sitting there felt like finding a forlorn little puppy that had been lost for awhile but could now return back to where it belonged. That’s how I knew I was doing the right thing.

I noticed a price tag on it of $50, which is about what I would have valued it at as well. I called an attendant over, and hesitantly, shyly, told her I was the artist of that piece and wanted to inquire about buying back my work. She immediately told me she absolutely loved my piece and called another attendant over who told me the same thing. They asked me some questions about creating it and told me it had originally been listed for $100, which I found flattering. In the end I was able to buy it back, and donating to the art museum is hardly the worst use of funds. I look forward to showing my students that I’ve brought it home for us.

It’s hardly unprecedented for artists to buy back their own work. I found an interesting article about it here. An artist might wish to reclaim a piece for any number of reasons. In this case, my students and I all had put too much emotional weight into the hanukiah. The truth is, we are all in dire need of more light and more peace right now. That’s what this hanukiah brought to us, and it’s something we feel we need to hold onto. In a world so full of darkness, we all want to share in a little more light together.

If we are commissioned again (I was told they do this festival and request donated work every year), I can frame the project as such for my students, and for myself. I’ve learned over the years that there’s a different approach to creating for others versus creating for yourself. It’s a different mentality.

All in all, it was a great learning experience for me and for my students. Now, I am $72 poorer but one very important hanukiah richer. The reactions of my students, though — that will be priceless.