One of the figures of speech I frequently keep in mind is that the devil you know is better than the devil you don’t know. It means that sometimes, a familiar entity that’s challenging in some way is better than an unknown entity that could turn out to be even worse.

Before reading any further, you should know that while this post is about the 2024 Presidential Election, it is not a place where I intend to dive too deeply into my personal political views. I am sharing my perspective about the winning candidate, but my perspective is rooted in truths, and I am keeping them as succinct as I can. Honestly, I suck at political debate and find it too stressful, but moreover, all of that isn’t my point here, so, please don’t bring it to me since I’m not offering it up to you!

Like everyone else who voted for Kamala Harris yesterday, I’ve been processing my feelings about yesterday’s election results all day today. I felt dismay and grief and fear and confusion and sadness; I felt determination that I do what I can to bring more kindness into the world rather than adding ever more cynicism. By the end of today, I noticed another emotion creeping to the surface that I wasn’t expecting, and with a little reflection, I’ve realized it makes an absurd amount of sense.

Counterintuitive though it may seem, I feel relief right now that Trump has been reelected.

Relief?!

Yes. Here’s the thing. My biggest fear about this entire election hasn’t been what further suffering multiple minority groups will endure if he were to win the election. Any person in a minority group will tell you that, while those potential repercussions are a great source of anxiety not to be discounted, it also isn’t exactly a new experience! No, my biggest fear has been what unrest and violence might ensue if he were to lose the election. My biggest fear was that we would have another insurrection like that of January 6, 2021.

The only — and I do mean only — good thing I can say about Trump is that with him, what you see is what you get. He is a hateful bigot who has said Nazis are good people and claimed he would blame the Jews if he lost this election; he has sexually harassed and abused multiple women and openly mocked people with disabilities. He’s a convicted felon, for crying out loud. Not to put too fine a point on it, but considering myself something of an expert on narcissists by now, he’s a very big narcissist. What’s my worst fear, or if not my worst fear, one of my biggest triggers? It’s what a narcissist does when they don’t get their way. They are volatile creatures who need to maintain their own version of reality at all costs. They can cause an enormous amount of damage in doing so. We saw that in various ways throughout his first term. We saw that on January 6, 2021. I’ve been afraid all year about that happening again, should this election not swing his way.

So, yes. I find myself feeling relief, because the narcissist wins, which means I don’t have to brace myself for the temper tantrum. All I have to do now is navigate through the next four years of taking the hits as they come and doing my best to turn them into positive things. Well, I’ve been doing that my entire life, haven’t I?

That’s the devil I know.