How do I teach?

How do I teach my third graders that they’ll change the world, they’ll make it a better place, when inside I wonder if all that will be left for them in the end will be a giant radioactive smoking crater?

How do I teach?

How do I teach my seventh graders to practice tolerance, to maintain an approach of respect and compassion for other people’s points of view, when inside I know that most of those people in turn will extend them no such courtesy?

How do I teach?

How do I teach my high school juniors and seniors to be proud of who they are, to stay true to themselves as they go on to college and go forth in the world, when inside I fear that such pride will cost them their safety, even their lives?

How do I teach?

How do I teach children to hold on to hope, when I keep none for myself? How do I teach them to be brave, when all I want to do these days is hide under the covers? How do I teach them to be activists and fight the good fight, when I’m making escape plans? How do I teach them to participate in productive and healthy dialogue, when words are failing me?

I’m a Jewish educator who teaches literally every single grade from kindergarten through 12th, thanks to my primary full-time job at my local private Jewish elementary school and my two additional jobs teaching at my temple’s Sunday school and at our community’s high school program. With my heart in my mouth, I’m telling third graders to keep asking the hard questions because someday they’ll be able to have better answers; with a lump in my throat, I’m trying to explain Kristallnacht 1938 in Germany to seventh graders on the heels of what can only be called Kristallnacht 2024 in Amsterdam and in Sweden. I’m doing the best I can to urge headstrong seniors to make smart decisions that prioritize their safety when they make it to college the following fall; I’m praying that if the 10th grade trip to Israel does take place this school year, that everyone who travels stays as safe and as whole as possible, physically and emotionally.

How do I teach?

I don’t know. I don’t know how I do it. I just know that I do. I press on. I keep going. I keep showing up. I keep imploring them all to learn.

Because some of us in this godforsaken mess have to learn, sooner or later, don’t we?